I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
