I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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