He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
