he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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