She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
