Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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