i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
