then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
