I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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