Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
