Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize