you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize