They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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