when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
