THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
