Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
