she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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