paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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