she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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