There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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