I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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