.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My vagina is officially offended.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
