In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
