she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
