What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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