He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
