After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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