I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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