if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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