just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
