2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
