Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
