Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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