she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
