I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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