ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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