Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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