And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
