I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
