...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize