I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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