Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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