Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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