i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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