just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
