His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
