Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
