EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The air was thick with penises
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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