you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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