Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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