Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
