have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
