David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
