I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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