Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
