im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
