Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see

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(806): View more from Texas

I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?

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(515): View more from Iowa

I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.

(515): View more from Iowa

I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Help everyone's hot

(410): View more from Maryland

Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot

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(206): View more from Washington

I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.

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