try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
