bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
