He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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