Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
