My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
