the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
