my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My dick has a subreddit
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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