then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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