That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
