is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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