I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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