having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It all started with a game of naked twister.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
